How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

 

Charismatic: Only 1

Hands are already in the air.

 

Pentecostal: 10

One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

 

Presbyterians: None

Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

 

Roman Catholic: None

Candles only.

 

Baptists: At least 15.

One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

 

Episcopalians: 3

One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

 

Mormons: 5

One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

 

Unitarians:

We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

 

Methodists: Undetermined

Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

 

Nazarene: 6

One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

 

Lutherans: None

Lutherans don’t believe in change.

 

Amish:

What’s a light bulb?

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